Month: May 1999

Well, today was Memorial Day. Yippie. Last night, my friends and I were watching Very Bad Things (an extremely disturbing movie to say the least), and the guys in the movie call one of their friends by their last name. I thought this was rather neat, and I stated that maybe we should call one of our friends by their last name. And then, a friend turns to me and says, “Ollinger?” And then I put my head down and shut my mouth. I felt like a toolbox from Sears. It was bad. I always wanted a friend to call by their last name. Not me.

Well, I think I am back in the whole again. I think I even regained my sententiousness. It’s been a rather lengthy period, but now I can finally write with that profound high-soundedness that was absent from my brain for awhile. I slept with my contacts in last evening, and I have been doing that an awful lot lately. I can feel the lenses gradually adhering to my eyes. They are also becoming much thinner, so it’s becoming increasingly more dangerous to remove them from my eyeballs without grave damage to the actual lens. I believe tonight, I will take them out and hope that they will not dissolve in my palm.

I woorked hrad dis weekende. I worked so hard, I can’t evin spel enithin rite.

Today is my birthday. No birthday kisses from anybody. Oh well, maybe next year.

Well, I am writing this on Sunday, but I am acting like it’s Monday. Today, I watched the Talk Soup Weekend Wrap-Up for the third time this weekend. It’s fortunate that E! reruns that show ad infinitum, otherwise, somebody might miss it; and we can’t have that now, can we? Also, I watched Norm MacDonald do a stand-up routine, and I noticed that he can be powerfully unfunny, and you can never fully understand what he’s saying. It’s like he’s “Boomhauer” from King of the Hill, but instead of being from Texas, he’s from that place Norm MacDonald is from. Also, he kept mispronouncing the word “garage.” He kept saying “gar-aj'” as opposed to “ga-razh.'” In essence, not the funniest man alive. That honor has to go to Jon Stewart and his writers.

I have an AP Calculus test tomorrow. I think I am going to cry. When do grown men cry? I read somewhere that they cry over their beer; I don’t drink beer. I drink Mountain Dew.

Today, I was in the mood for Egg Nog. Unfortunately, I have another six months before I am likely to get any.

Today I was watching the 25 Lamest videos of all-time and I had the distinct pleasure of watching Vanilla Ice dismantle the set. It was exhilerating. I figured I’d add something to the firs week, before it got lost in the depths of ‘archive-dom.’ Also, unlisted numbers greatly help in the effectiveness of prank phone calls. Bret, Steven, and myself found this out. One more thing- I really really like sandals. a lot. I also like sprinklers. And girls. And Mountain Dew. And a whole mess of other things that I can’t list here. (Sub sandwiches from Blimpie)…

One time I went to restaurant with a friend of mine. As it turns out, it was her favorite restaurant, yet I did not enjoy the food at all. The company was great, but the food sucked. I was thinking about this today, and I realized that it might not have been the food. Maybe it was me. Earlier in the evening, we had seen The Waterboy. While there, an older gentleman “shushed” me. (I was making my signature humorously witty comments.) Now I believe that I was slightly miffed at the man at the meal. Maybe, instead of discussing my anger with the man himself, I took it out on the lasagne. Oh well.

I thought that a hyper-caffeinated soda would be a good idea. I love Mountain Dew, so I figured the next logical step would be to make a soda with all the caffeine of coffee, but in a different flavor. Turns out, coffee is the best flavor for super-caffeine. Maybe one day, I will stop being a wuss and just dissolve a couple of No-Doz into my customary afternoon Dew. Better be careful though, too much caffeine will make your heart explode.