So last week was my test week. This week is my grade report week. I don’t know what’s worse; taking the tests or having to receive the grades. Well, actually I can think of plenty of things worse than actually having to take tests. Like what, you ask? Well, having to eat nothing but peas for the rest of my life. I think that I would be forced to kill myself like three days into my new all-legume diet. But what if I were immortal, you ask? Well then, I’d guess I would be S.O.L.
Category: Other Words
A Duck in a Whorehouse
So I promised all you non-poop joke connoisseurs a funny little story today.
January 31, 2001
One day, I went to the bathroom. After my business was completed, and my chocolate children were busy swimming with their fellow doodie brethren, I started making breakfast. As I was pouring the milk into my vat of Reese’s Puffs, I saw something come meandering up to me. It seemed almost whispy, a gossamer pair or arms, twirling the air around them. But then, their beauty was replaced with their true self- the smelliest smell ever. Apparently, my chocolate children had a little B.O. problem.
I apologize to all you prudes out there who just can’t see the humor behind “poop” jokes. Well, tomorrow, I will give you something you can enjoy. snoogans.
January 29, 2001
So as it turns out, the Superbowl was last night. I, for some reason or another, neglected to watch. Well, I have a couple of reasons for not watching, but I doubt that they are really worth anything to anyone. For starters, I am not a big fan of professional football. To me, they are a bunch of egomaniacs, all waiting for their sneaker and cereal deals, not really playing because they love them game. They are all overpaid; playing a child’s sport for a living. The second reason I don’t like the Superbowl is because I don’t really understand the whole game itself, but anyhow, I digress. I need to get a job this week, so if any of you kids have any ideas, email me. SNOOGANS.
January 24, 2001
So I was in Waffle House yesterday. I totally had a hankering for Raisin Bran. That or Golden Grahams, Reese’s Puffs, or Frosted Flakes. Well, anyway, they didn’t have any fresh cereal. Needless to say, I got a waffle instead. Then, I got to thinking- I like waffles; I like cereal. Why not meld the two things together? Then, I realized that Post did such a thing, and although I can’t possibly know from first-hand experience, it tasted very similar to butt.