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2001-2005 Other Words

February 19, 2001

So last week was my test week. This week is my grade report week. I don’t know what’s worse; taking the tests or having to receive the grades. Well, actually I can think of plenty of things worse than actually having to take tests. Like what, you ask? Well, having to eat nothing but peas for the rest of my life. I think that I would be forced to kill myself like three days into my new all-legume diet. But what if I were immortal, you ask? Well then, I’d guess I would be S.O.L.

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Other Words

A Duck in a Whorehouse

So I promised all you non-poop joke connoisseurs a funny little story today.

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2001-2005 Other Words

January 31, 2001

One day, I went to the bathroom. After my business was completed, and my chocolate children were busy swimming with their fellow doodie brethren, I started making breakfast. As I was pouring the milk into my vat of Reese’s Puffs, I saw something come meandering up to me. It seemed almost whispy, a gossamer pair or arms, twirling the air around them. But then, their beauty was replaced with their true self- the smelliest smell ever. Apparently, my chocolate children had a little B.O. problem.

I apologize to all you prudes out there who just can’t see the humor behind “poop” jokes. Well, tomorrow, I will give you something you can enjoy. snoogans.

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2001-2005 Other Words

January 29, 2001

So as it turns out, the Superbowl was last night. I, for some reason or another, neglected to watch. Well, I have a couple of reasons for not watching, but I doubt that they are really worth anything to anyone. For starters, I am not a big fan of professional football. To me, they are a bunch of egomaniacs, all waiting for their sneaker and cereal deals, not really playing because they love them game. They are all overpaid; playing a child’s sport for a living. The second reason I don’t like the Superbowl is because I don’t really understand the whole game itself, but anyhow, I digress. I need to get a job this week, so if any of you kids have any ideas, email me. SNOOGANS.

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2001-2005 Other Words

January 24, 2001

So I was in Waffle House yesterday. I totally had a hankering for Raisin Bran. That or Golden Grahams, Reese’s Puffs, or Frosted Flakes. Well, anyway, they didn’t have any fresh cereal. Needless to say, I got a waffle instead. Then, I got to thinking- I like waffles; I like cereal. Why not meld the two things together? Then, I realized that Post did such a thing, and although I can’t possibly know from first-hand experience, it tasted very similar to butt.