My furniture almost killed me last night. There I was, dozing off on my couch, when all of a sudden the throw pillows leapt onto my face and started to suffocate me. While I was fighting them off of my face, the desk lamp came crashing into my back. I turned around, and there they all were, ready to kill me. I am not going to bore you with the details of my miraculous escape, but apparently, there was a Furniture Coup in my room last night. I had read about the Furniture Coup of West Germany in ’77 and the Bolivia furniture coup from the 1940’s. After I realized that this was the problem, my furniture and I had a diplomatic meeting. We all sat down, and they told me their demands. I, not wanting to lose any of them, promised to fufill all their demands. Now, after work, I have to run and get a frilly La-Z-Boy® and fancy nightstand. Apparently, all my furniture is starved for lovin’.
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