It’s strange- it seems like just yesterday I was ringing in the New Year with those femmes from GCSU…such memories (not necessarily good ones, either). These past five months have truly flown by. I think Ferris said it best: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”
Sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I have missed something. If you had asked me three years ago, when I was on the brink of college, I would have never thought that I would be working from home every weekend, going to the nearest two-year college, and scraping through school. I had so many epic ideas and huge aspirations…most of which were dashed, thanks to my own youthful stupidity. In retrospect, I can remember only the apexes and nadirs from the past three years of my life. The high I was on when I had my first “real” girlfriend; the utter misery I endured when I went through my first “real” break-up. Going to UGA for two semesters only to decide that I wasn’t interested in the “college life;” not going to school for a couple semesters to realize I am certainly not interested in the “real” world…the list could go on and on.
My 21st birthday is just on the horizon and is quickly approaching. To be honest, I am terrified. This is it. There is no turning back after 21. I’ll be an adult. I’ll be a grown-up. The real question remains, however. What does it mean to be an adult? With the name comes what responsibilities? Unfortunately, no one has clued me in yet, so it looks like I’ll be winging it for a while.
I do know this much however…
Life is short. If you look to the future your whole life, you will miss what’s going on around you in the here and now. Sometimes, I look around at everyone around me, and I wonder what he or she is thinking. Every man, woman, and child thinks he or she has some purpose on this planet. I have been meditating on this for some time, and I doubt seriously this is the case. Pretend all you like, but we are here for no good reason at all. Oh, and forget about being special. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are about 6 billion other humans standing around, thinking the same thing about themselves as you are. It’s times like this I long to be a different animal. No other animal consumes itself with a search for purpose as humans do. I look at my brother’s cats, and they appear to be so care-free. They don’t have to concern themselves with the threat of nuclear war, taxes, traffic, violence in the media, existentialism, a college degree, children, healthcare, car insurance, credit card debt, cult leaders, religion, et cetera. Their only concern is when their next meal is coming and the elusive possibility of getting to come inside the house. Maybe we humans could take a lesson from our pets and focus on what’s REALLY important- survival.
The other day, on a constitutional in the woods, I coined this mantra: “We run around 50-70 years, and then we die.” You gotta make sure you live to the fullest in those 50-70 years because this is it. Some people may not make it that far; others may exceed this expectancy. At any rate, you get one chance at this whole life thing, and then you’re out.