This was something I wrote very early one morning. It seems that my best writing comes between the hours of 12 AM and 5 AM on the night before an exam or a research paper is due. This was something that I had originally posted to the main Gekko site, mainly because I didn’t feel like fixing WRITE CLUB. I’m inspired at 4 AM; I didn’t say I was motivated.
I was using the bathroom when I saw a little spider crawling up one of my walls. Rather than let it continue its insignificant life normally, I decided that this wee arachnid had just met his maker. [PETA freaks be warned: animal cruelty proceeds. Mikey has no regard for invertebrates, the spineless muhfux.] First, I took a lighter and held the flame beneath its legs, so that it would lose its grip on the wall. After a moment, the spider detached from the wall and went tumbling to the counter. Then, after it had recovered somewhat from plummeting 24″ to the surface of the bathroom counter, I filled a cup of water and drowned the poor thing as it lay quivering from burn wounds, thus assuming the role of God in the story of Noah and the great flood. Some of its eight legs came off as the spider went from the counter-top to the sink and down the drain. It was then that I felt the faintest pang of guilt that was quickly overshadowed and extinguished by the formation of these lines in my brain:
Poor little beast crawling,
he ne’er saw it coming.
First came the sizzling flame,
then came the drizzling rain.
And the next thing he knew,
swirling downward he was
heading toward the drain!
Yeah, I’ll be going straight to Hell when I die, should such a place exist. At least the spider’s memory will live on immutable in these seven lines!