Well, it’s no coincidence that since my 21st birthday, Gekko has not been updated. Between celebrating my new-found legality with friends and family and Bret being in Florida for the holiday weekend, it has been difficult for things to get done. At any rate, the newness of my birthday has worn off, Bret’s back home, and so status quo is slowly starting return. The minute moratorium from the monotany is waning. Work is picking back up; and in a week or so, school will be back in as well.
I hate when I try writing for the website, and the idea I have turns out to be only half an idea; one that won’t work. I get about halfway through, and I hit this impermeable wall. The rest of the idea sets up a fortress, and I end up stuck in a metaphorical moat in my mind, fending off disease and alligators. Well, it’s not exactly that bad, but it’s close. I have pages of half-written stories, strings of unrelated couplets, and other cacographical bric-a-brac. Some are on little coffee-stained napkins, tattered and torn pages of notebooks, and the backs of magazine inserts. To help combat this whelming bit of disorganization, I have started carrying around a memo pad and pen to record all my random thoughts and ideas. Nearly everyone who has seen me toting it around teases me about it, asking either what I’m writing down (to which I answer “I’m thinking of the quickest way to kill you” – that normally shuts ’em up) or if Frank, Joe, or I need any help solving the mystery of the African Safari or whatever case we’re on; to which I reply, “no thanks, but you can get me a bearclaw and get the boys a couple of glasses of grape juice and some Fig Newtons.”
Right now, I am struggling for fresh ideas (I have a few in the oven; they should be ready soon), and I need to clean out the first few pages of the memo pad. As such, below are the first few quotable quotes I have heard since the notebook’s inception.
“They’re fantastic. My family and me- we’re real big rib-eaters.”
–caller-in to QVC, while the channel airs a promotion for Corky’s BBQ Fully Cooked Ribs
“My dick is the star of my fantasy.”
–Dave Chappelle, on why men never fantasize about threesomes with other men
“When you look this good, you don’t have to know anything.”
–Fry, on the importance of appearances, from an episode Futurama
“I kinda took some stuff, but I didn’t rob them.”
“Even if the Pope himself hit me, I would call the police.”
–overheard while watching Judge Joe Brown with my sister-in-law
You can be sure to look for more of these coming soon. As soon as I hear them, I will be sure to include them somehow or another in my normal posts. I have found that you are likely to hear the most unlikeliest of things in the stangest of places. People are poets without knowing it; they can philosophize without being wise.
Well, it’s getting late, and Fatboy Slim’s “Talkin’ ‘Bout my Baby” is on, and I just have to dance…later, cats & kittens.
GK Out.