Category: Corpus

abulia – \ay-BOO-lee-uh\ noun : abnormal lack of ability to act or to make decisions

exempla gratia- Webster was struck with an acute case of abulia at the video store; he could not decide between Pornochio or Saving Ryan’s Privates.

baksheesh – \BAK-sheesh\ noun : payment (as a tip or bribe) to expedite service

exempla gratia- “Here, take this baksheesh,” Ben told Heather, handing her a sweaty wad of singles. “I don’t have time for the usual tops-and-tails and champagne room. Just give me a quickie, down-and-dirty.”

denegation – \deh-nih-GAY-shun\ noun : denial

exempla gratia- Dexter was in a constant state of denegation. Among other things, he still adheres to the fact that not only did Thomas Dewey win the election of ’48, but also Bush won the election of ’00.

enfant terrible – \ahn-fahn-teh-REE-bluh\ noun : a child whose inopportune remarks cause embarrassment

exempla gratia- Henry and Alice had quite the enfant terrible in little Dennis. He once announced to a crowded room of their friends that not only did he just “shit his pants” but he also once “touched the cat’s special place.”

farrago \fuh-RAH-goh\ noun : a confused mixture : hodgepodge

exempla gratia- Taking two ounces of every bottle of liquor his parents had, Jack created a potent farrago of spirits he dubbed “Jack’s Magic Potion.” Upon drinking an eighth of the concoction, his lunch of hot dogs, french fries, and jelly beans made an encore appearance on the kitchen floor.

halcyon – \HAL-see-un\ adjective : calm, peaceful

exempla gratia- After swallowing a handful of Halcion, Patrick felt halcyon and ready for bed.

hypnagogic – \hip-nuh-GAH-jik\ adjective : of, relating to, or occurring in the period of drowsiness immediately preceding sleep

exempla gratia- As I laid there, about to fall asleep, lying in a hypnagogic state, I wondered why David Cross was teaching my Biology class, and I was sorry that I had such a hard time paying attention because he’s one funny guy. I was just. so. . sleepy. . .

louche – \LOOSH (“OO” as in “food”)\ adjective : not reputable or decent

exempla gratia- Did you say that Vera was “louche” or “loose?” Oh wait, they’re the same thing, aren’t they?

nyctalopia – \nik-tuh-LOH-pee-uh\ noun : night blindness

exempla gratia- At first, they thought it was Fred’s nyctalopia that gave him a tendency to walk into walls and closed doors unless he turned on all the lights. It turns out Fred’s just spastic. Once while eating at the Mexicali Grille, he managed to spill his beer, overturn a bowl of salsa onto his pants, AND jab a fork in his eye– all in one fluid motion. I’ve never seen anything like it.

oneiric – \oh-NYE-rik\ adjective : of or relating to dreams : dreamy

exempla gratia- While he lay sleeping, Scruffy had oneiric visions of bottomless bowls of soup and rivers of MD 20/20. These dreams were only interrupted when he awoke to the sounds of raccoons leaping into the Dumpster in which he was resting.

Eh, it’s been two weeks since I have posted anything. There is no much to report, really– my life has reached a homeostasis in which my day consists of waking up promptly at 9, attending class, coming home and eating lunch, taking a nap, doing school work, Auctionworking, eating dinner, watching an hour or so of television, then passing out at about 1 or 2 AM. I love routine– don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I want a little more out of life. I think the humdrum of my life has dampened my artistic spirit and dried up my creative juices. So I implore you, lowly reader, pardon the perfunctoriness of this post.

It’s been a long week. I first felt the intimations of ailment creeping in last Saturday, and since then I have been in the icy grip of a January cold. This being the case, my sinuses, chest, and stomach have been loaded with phlegm and mucus. Disgusting I know, but like flatulence, congestion is a part of being human.

Because I haven’t being feeling well, I haven’t been running at 100% to take note on the goings-on around me. As such, in lieu of a poignant commentary on my life, I will instead provide you Reduxers with another installment of VOCABULARY-EDIFICATION WITH MIKEY. Enjoy!

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babblative – \BAB-luh-tiv\ adjective – garrulous

exempla gratia – Susan was the most babblative woman I met; the only time she would shut up was when I said “SUSAN, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT THAT WAYNE IS FUCKING YOUR COUSIN. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU CAN’T FIND YOUR DAMN CAR KEYS! MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED DOING ICE, YOU COULD SLOW DOWN AND THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU LEFT THEM!” She would always be quiet after that.

cacography \kak-AH-gruh-fee\ noun – bad spelling

exempla gratia – “Franco, this job application is full of cacography. You don’t spell ‘bus’ with a K!”

ephemeral \ih-FEH-muh-rul\ adjective – lasting a very short time

exempla gratia – Jim’s life was full of ephemeral moments– especially when in the boudoir. If there was an award for speed-fucking, he would win hands-down. Two minutes? Did he even give her time to take her bra off?

galumph \guh-LUMF\ verb – to move with a clumsy, heavy tread

exempla gratia – Keith galumphed about his castle searching for the last bag of Oreos. Keith’s a sad story, really. He hasn’t been able to leave his house for two years. He can’t get through the threshold of his front door anymore. I’ve heard he weighs 800 pounds. My Mini doesn’t even weigh that much! I’ve also heard he eats kids. I’m not too sure of the veracity of that rumor, although the Thompkins boy brought him Chili’s To-Go once, and he hasn’t been heard from since.

imbroglio \im-BROHL-yoh\ noun – a violently confused or bitterly complicated altercation

exempla gratia – Quite an imbroglio had developed between Hal, Tabitha, and Tameka. Hal had been engaging in intercourse with both of them. It should be stated that Hal had been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder in his teens. I don’t know how it worked out in the bedroom, but Hal was a ghastly, pallid man in his mid-50’s, and Tameka was a heavy-set black woman in her 30’s. He was having sex with himself! How the hell does one do that?

kakistocracy \kak-uh-STAH-kruh-see\ noun – government by the worst people

exempla gratia – Under the current regime, I daresay America’s political system is a kakistocracy, led by an incompetent lying boob, incapable of coherent parol. A monkey could be doing a better job.

navel-gazing \NAY-vul-GAY-zing\ noun – useless or excessive self-contemplation

exempla gratia – Pubescent Jay spent the majority of each day in his bathroom lost in a bout of navel-gazing. That was what he called it at least.

penury \PEN-yuh-ree\ noun – a cramping and oppressive lack of resources (as money); especially : severe poverty

exempla gratia – I remember one year penury had stricken our poor family so badly that instead of Christmas dinner, we were forced to eat Gramma’s eyeballs. They tasted great, served in a bowl of gruel with a light sprinkling of sawdust.

tatterdemalion \tat-er-dih-MAIL-yun\ adjective – ragged or disreputable in appearance

exempla gratia – Manjit entered his job interview looking terrible and tatterdemalion. The holes in his pants were stapled shut; there was a mustard stain on his shirt. He even had an African beefeater on his shoulder eating something out of his hair!

wassail \WAH-sul\ verb – to indulge in riotous drinking

exempla gratia – The trio of Steve, Zeke, and Ed went to Hooters and wassailed on the finest brews their money could buy (Pabst-Blue Ribbon and Bud Light), and they toasted their heroes Lombardi, Ditka, and Stifler. After being ejected from the bar for placing their tips between the supple breasts of Heather, their unfortunate server, they donned their horned helmets and pillaged several of the suburbs surrounding Flint, Michigan.

–This one’s for my dead homies.–
Mikey