Category: Short Stories

I’m surprised, even at myself…

Once upon a time, and a galaxy far, far away, there lived a tiny little statue. His name, you ask? Well, it was Fritz Vladimir Sprocket. His parents named him a family name, but he typically went by a little nickname he made for himself- “Stony.” He stood in perpetual inanimation. Solid as a statue, no doubt. His parents fearful of a revolution on their home planet, Krypton, sent this little boy to Earth to seek refuge. Little did they know, they were sending their only dog to a watery grave. (Kryptonians called their offspring dogs. Strangely enough, their ‘dogs’ didn’t get Gravy Train.)

Tom was an every day ordinary fellow until he hit his head on a low-hanging light bulb, cracking both it and his skull. The ensuing brain damage was described by a team of expert doctors as minor and unrepairable.

On a cold, wintry day in February, a mother turkey laid a little egg. In this egg was to be the savior of all turkeys nationwide. This egg was Jed. After his egg hatched, Jed steadily developed into a young, vivacious turkey. The year was 1692, but turkeys back then were illiterate and had no true use for human time. Turkeys were sprawling all over the countryside and living generally carefree lives.

“Jeffrey! Wake up, Honey, it’s time for bed.” his mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “But Mom, I was already sleeping…” Jeff got dressed and went to the morgue. ( The school was being repaired after the tremendous hailstorm of 1976.) On his way, he passed the usual quaint little stores and shops along the way… There was the Hot Dog Stand, the German Novelty Store, Cadavers R’ Us, Opium and other Mystical Drugs, and many others. He continued on his way and passed by his favorite place- the Bovine Factory!