Categories
1995-2000 Other Words

Cheese?

Well, boys and girls, it’s Cheese Week here at the good ol’ www.gekko.org… Of course, being the spectacular author I am, was selected to pen the first of our usual trilogy of installments for any theme week… now then, onto cheese…

Categories
1995-2000 Poems

an ode to chewbacca

O glorious wookie, how we love thee!
You speak in a language only you can understand,
grunts and groans, yelps and yawns.
Your shaggy hair so silky smooth,
almost sensuous to one’s touch.
With a looming height,
you scare off many a foe.
But with a eyes so bright,
your friends love you so.
What would be a fitting name for you?
Defender of the Just, friend to Han Solo.
Co-pilot for the Millennium Falcon.
Fred? No.
Sparky? No.
Chewbacca. This is your title.
O Chewy,
keep fighting for the safety of the weak and oppressed

Categories
1995-2000 Short Stories

Jeff and his Terrible Problem, Cheese

“Jeffrey! Wake up, Honey, it’s time for bed.” his mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “But Mom, I was already sleeping…” Jeff got dressed and went to the morgue. ( The school was being repaired after the tremendous hailstorm of 1976.) On his way, he passed the usual quaint little stores and shops along the way… There was the Hot Dog Stand, the German Novelty Store, Cadavers R’ Us, Opium and other Mystical Drugs, and many others. He continued on his way and passed by his favorite place- the Bovine Factory!

Categories
1995-2000 Letters

An Open Letter to Papa Smurf

Dear Papa Smurf,

How come Smurfette was never given a real first name? Was it something the writers weren’t ready for? Could it have perhaps been that it was an all-male team of writers, and none of them could come up with a good name for her? Here’s a list that I came up with for possible first names for her.

Categories
1995-2000 Letters

An Open Letter to General Mills

Dear Morning Meal Masters,

First, let me assure you that the purpose of this letter is not to complain, but to praise! I love your products! Ever since I was a wee lad in the small town of Butts, GA, (approx. pop. 5000) I have attributed at least one of my meals a day to your cereals. Like my pop, Willy, always used to say, “Ain’t nothing like a big bowl of Cocoa Puffs to get the day started right.” I stick to that. As stated earlier, I eat at least a bowl of cereal a day. My favorites are Golden Grahams, Lucky Charms, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. This epistle is starting to lose focus, so let me reclaim it in the next paragraph.